One day Jacob was cooking a stew.

Esau came in from the field starved and said to Jacob,

"Give me some of that red stew-I'm starved!"

Jacob said,

"Make me a trade: my stew for your rights as the firstborn."

Esau said, "I'm starving! What good is a birthright if I'm dead?"

...That's how Esau shrugged off his rights as the firstborn.

Genesis 25:29-34

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Thirty Easy Ways to Raise a Pharisee

Number 22

Teach them that their desires are their spiritual enemies.

A number of times, in various ways, the Savior simply asked:

"What do you want?"

And when folks tell Him their desires, He never (never.) tells them to want less.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasure on earth" a good monk or Pharisee might quote, "where moth and rust corrupt and thieves break in and steal."

"But," Jesus said, "lay up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where neither moth nor rust corrupt and thieves don't break in and steal."

Crave the best things and don't let the brief gratification of lesser things rob you of the great stuff.

And if treasure is available, abandon your trash, with light-hearted and expectant laughter, to get your hands on the real, permanent wealth.

Jesus said:

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field." - Matthew 13:44

All Gospel changes in our lives are treasure transactions. Glad, easy decisions that make us chuckle and say, "My Ford Focus for your Lamborghini - I don't know...I'd have to think long and hard about giving up my Focus!"

There are no exceptions - not one time where our Lord says, "I want you do such and such, even though in the long run you will lose something good or be less happy.

Never. Not once. No exceptions to this remarkably extravagant rule.

We've really messed this one up. I'm tempted to use stronger language.

For centuries the world has assumed that following our faith is a fool's errand designed for masochists and self-absorbed monks. Why wouldn't they, given the wonderful mix of martyrdom and moral superiority that marks most "Christian" confrontations of the world?

C.S. Lewis offers a strong antidote to this wretched thinking (he made a habit of this):

"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desire not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because we cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

Stifle your desires or tolerate small, easily-satisfied desires and you will find yourself (and your son or daughter) easy targets for wasted lives of sinful indulgence.

Enlarge your desires and demand that your joys be both permanent and satisfying and you will find no alternative but to run hard after the King of grace and His gifts.

If you want to groom your children into self-satisfied, ultimately-impoverished Pharisees:

1. Warn them of the danger of wanting too much pleasure.

2. Teach them to sacrifice for God

These are fertile soil for both rebellion and religion - both of which are deadly.

Pharisees, legalists and religious people of all sorts are preoccupied with what God requires and expects of us instead of what God longs to give us. They assume that God needs something from us, rather than that we desperately and hungrily need everything from Him. They think that God is more honored by our hard work than by our hunger for Him. They function on the assumption that God is a kill-joy and that He wants us to avoid punishment by learning to abandon pleasure.

Rebels smell these same slanders against God's extravagant grace and simply say, "Not interested."

And why should they be?

Even our everyday parental instructions of wisdom and righteousness (when true and Godly) are rooted less in sin-management and behavior modification than they are in vision-casting and pleasure-protection.

Does your daughter crave popularity and get easily drawn into vanity (or self-pity)? Don't tell her that acceptance and beauty don't matter. Share with her the treasure of being loved and embraced by God and point her to the beauty that the Savior is crafting in her for a future unveiling. Compare cheap gawking to eternal admiration.

Is your son struggling with lust? Don't tell him to stop longing. Give him something worth longing for! Magnify the wonders of sexual intimacy and the delights of God's gift of marriage. Envision in him a future worth wanting and guarding and waiting for - then enjoy your wife deeply in his view (or your words won't ring true).

If we portray faith and faithfulness more like monastic vows of self-flagellation than as the magnificent value of wise and patient investment, our children will seek out alternatives.

Monks or heirs of heavenly wealth - which of these propels the soul toward grace? And which of these magnify the grandeur and the goodness of God?

Teach your sons and daughters the insanity of Esau.

Don't get all spiritual and tell them how fleshly and ungodly he was. (Though true.) Get right to the point and tell them that he was an idiot, a moron, a joy-crushing fool. He gave up the wealth, honor, privileges, and future of an ancient first-born son, so that he wouldn't have to be hungry and wait for dinner for a few minutes.

Healthy, strong desires drive us to the Gospel. Pray for the Lord to plant demanding desires in you and your children that can't easily be satisfied

Vigorous, not-easily-satisfied desires also propel "sanctification" or Godly change in our lives. (More on this in the next couple of weeks.)

In Galatians 5:16-17 Paul says: "I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit lusts against the flesh.

Lust means "strong desire" and in Scripture (believe it or not) "lust" can either be for evil or for good.

So the flesh has strong desires that can kill the soul.

And the spirit has strong desires that can kill the flesh.

Apparently the right kind of vigorous, insatiable strong desires are exactly what we need.

With this paradigm-shift out on the table we really must explore how to encourage real spiritual growth in our children.

So please tag along for the next couple of weeks, as we consider Treasure-based transformation and how it is that we and our children will really grow and flourish in the Lord.

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See or Return to the full list of current "Thirty Easy Ways to Raise a Pharisee" posts Here.