Introduction - Thirty Easy Ways to Raise a Pharisee
Number 1 - Sing "Jesus Loves Me" before "Holy, Holy, Holy"
Number 2 - Tell them that Jesus wants them to be good, instead of that Jesus wants to be good to them.
Number 3 - Use Gifts as Rewards and Punishments
Number 4 - Use Gifts as Rewards and Punishments
Number 5 - Live as though fasting is more spiritual than feasting
Number 6 - Sing only on Sunday.
Number 7 - Tell them that they can do the right thing, if they just try hard enough.
Number 8 - Assure them that God is easily approachable.
Number 9 - Admire religious achievements more than other personal accomplishments.
Number 10 - Display a passionless marriage.
Number 11 - Teach them that a good reputation is their most valuable possession.
Number 12 - Equip them with the Language of Humility.
Number 13 - Groom them in the Appearance of Humility.
Number 14 - Represent holiness and happiness as opposing (or even alternating) experiences.
Number 15 - Set a retirement age for your parenting - and prepare lines of retreat.
Number 16 - Avoid teaching them difficult theological ideas.
Number 17 - Point out sinful activity more than spiritual poverty.
Number 18 - Teach the fruit of the Spirit without poverty of spirit and the Gospel.
Number 19 - Teach them to repent of their sin but not of their "righteousness."
Number 20 - Point to the physical suffering of the Cross without explaining the spiritual agony of the Savior.
Number 21 - Train them to "do their devotions" to make God happy with them instead of to make themselves happy in Him.
Number 22 - Teach them that their desires are their spiritual enemies.